Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle

Posted by Greg

November 10, 2007

The Devil’s In The Details

** out of *****

Oh, Hollywood, you crafty little movie mill. Even your fluffy popcorn flicks are able to ignite fierce debates between the right and left side of the human brain. For instance, the right side of my brain has been screaming at me since the lights came up that this movie is the worst, most immature, over-directed, self-indulgent exercise in cinematic transgression I have ever seen. And then my left side chimes in with the counter-argument that sure, it’s cheesy and groan-inducing and my eyes literally hurt from rolling them so much but c’mon! It was entertaining and goofy and fun, with a great soundtrack, cool fights and some neat-o special effects. The debate continues.

Full Throttle falls into the sequel category of ‘if you’ve seen the first one, you’ve seen this one’, and with what has become the norm for these kinds of movies, the filmmakers don’t necessarily try to improve on the first one, they just up the ante and give you more of what worked the first time around. The Angels are still working for the mysterious voice-only Charlie, taking on dangerous assignments and saving the world on a weekly basis. After rescuing a Federal Marshal from bad guys in Outer Mongolia (!) the Angels learn that he was kidnapped because he wears one of two rings that contain the names and locations of all the members of the Federal Witness Protection Program. When the wearer of the other ring is killed and his ring stolen as well, it’s up to the Angels to hunt down whoever did it, get the rings back and save all the anonymous members of the program from revenge killings.

Right from the opening scene, it’s clear that the laws of physics and common sense aren’t just thrown out the window, they’re catapulted clear into the stratosphere. From a shirtless bad guy walking through a 1,200 degree wall of fire without even a singed hair to characters grinding their way down a ship-to-dock rope on a plank of wood, there seems to be nothing that the people in this movie can’t do. As I’ve said before, it really helps to be able to suspend your disbelief in a movie like this, but when a character threw a miniature harpoon 30 feet through the air into the barrel of a gun that’s aimed at them, I could almost hear the audience groan. Things go on like this for a while, with the Angels following clues that lead them progressively higher up the bad-guy heirarchy. About ¾ of the way into the proceedings, Demi Moore (looking 10 lbs underweight and packing guns as big as her arm) shows up and takes the reign of the Fallen Angel, the mastermind behind the entire plot. Cue some back story that doesn’t really make sense and then back into the fighting. The thing that keeps the movie just above the waterline though is the fact that it’s all done with such gleeful abandon. Everyone involved knows that it’s incredibly stupid and that they’re just there to have fun. Sounds a bit like High School actually, which is rather fitting as all three Angels act like 16 year old girls trapped in 30 year old bodies.

McG directs the film the same way he directed all his music videos, with kinetic energy that follows the Bigger, Better, Faster rule of film making. Plot, Shmlot – this is spectacle! I nearly went into a coma when I heard that he might direct the upcoming Superman re-make but breathed easy when his name was dropped. Here, he uses the camera like a battle-axe, swinging it around the action like a Viking warrior who’s seen The Matrix one too many times. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but it certainly keeps things from getting slow. He’s perfect for this movie, but please don’t let him direct any ‘serious’ fare, it would be like watching a train wreck in slow motion. As for the acting, there’s really four stars in this movie. First we have the girl next door Drew Barrymore, whose Dylan character has a past that involves some of the bad guys which is the only attempt at a ‘real’ sub-plot. Second is the sultry Lucy Liu playing Alex, who would still cause hearts to flutter if she was covered in rotten fish heads. It’s a shame that she wasn’t given more of a chance to show off her seldom used sense of humor because she can be a very funny comedic actor with the right material. Third is Cameron Diaz, playing Natalie as a goofy-yet-dangerous variation of her character in Something About Mary. And last but not least we have Cameron Diaz’s Ass, which is given enough screen time to qualify for best supporting actor. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m just pointing it out. All three of the actors work well off of each other and they do manage to give the impression of a cohesive team; it’s pretty obvious that they had a lot of fun making this movie. Bernie Mac, replacing Bill Murray, does a fine job as the new guy, the public face of the detective agency. He does seem a bit out of place though – his talent as a comedian far outshines the material and he doesn’t really get a chance to show any of it off. And let me know if the return of the very quirky Crispin Glover as The Thin Man doesn’t creep you right out – you deserve a hero cookie.

Like I mentioned, the movie is full of things that make you roll your eyes, but at least it’s not boring. I guess it does take a modicum of talent to stretch at 3-minute music video into a full length movie. They also manage to stuff the flick with cameos with everyone from John Cleese to Carrie Fisher to Jaclyn Smith, who reprises her role from the original Charlie’s Angels which was on TV back when I was just wee. Explosions, fights, guns and sexy women in tight clothes and stilettos – if you’re a 14 year old boy, this might just be the best movie you’ve ever seen. However, the more discerning moviegoer will likely agree that in some cases, bigger is not necessarily better.

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